


The Promise

by doctorwatsonofhogwarts



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 09:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorwatsonofhogwarts/pseuds/doctorwatsonofhogwarts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan was not noticed by Phil those years ago. His problems became worse, he lost his will to live and had no one to save him. One day, Phil finds a man about to jump off a bridge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Promise

**Author's Note:**

> Greatly inspired by the song 'The Promise' by Emma Blackery.  
> Also seen on my Tumblr, chrisjkendall|tumblr

It was on days such as this one that Dan felt truly, to put it bluntly, useless and inadequate. He reached his twenty-first birthday two weeks ago by some miracle; it was truly remarkable that he haven't offed himself yet. Over the years, his life spiralled to become more and more shit and things didn't look any better now that he was an adult.

Dan laid in bed, wide awake yet with no intention of getting up. He saw no point in it anymore. He reached a dark place as a teenager and it seemed like he was the only one who did not get out of it in time. In consumed it, his will to do anything. Not like he felt he could do much anyway, he was just a talentless boy trying to get through university to gain a degree he no longer wanted.

It sounded stupid and childish, but Dan felt like no one truly got him. His parents were....well, he couldn't say they were bad, but after the divorce they seemed...distant. Like their children just became an obligation, necessary to acknowledge yet not truly important. He could never say that he got along with his brother, who took every opportunity to insult him and made him feel even more like crap. His friends – what friends? It was Saturday morning and he spent Friday night alone, just like every Friday night. He knew people, but they either ignored him or thought him a freak. Even on the internet people ignored him.

It felt like a lifetime ago when Dan tried to get noticed by the YouTuber called AmazingPhil. He lost many nights of sleep and missed many things just by waiting for his videos and commenting and trying to tweet him or speak on MySpace. It never worked and he was just blanked by a person he truly looked up to, someone who he felt like would not judge him.

Life was not working out for Dan and he was sick of it all. He was sick of always being the second one, the useless one, the one everyone steps over. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life unhappy and being treated like shit while working a job that just makes him feel worse. It wasn't what he wanted, yet it was the thing that he was working up to and the life he thought he deserved.

Dan wished that he would just fall asleep and never wake up. No life at all would be better than a bad one.

~*~

Although Phil reached his twenty-sixth birthday, he didn't feel that old. Still a child at heart, he believed in happiness and that no one deserved to be unhappy. That's why he did his best to talk to most of his depressed subscribers and all of them in general really, although he always missed a few. Especially now that he became more popular on YouTube and more people started watching him. But he was always a believer in keeping in touch with his fans.

Phil was walking through Manchester, it was a while since he had time just to stroll through the city without having to be somewhere. He was occasionally stopped by a fan for a picture and a short conversation, but besides that he was wandering aimlessly. He enjoyed it and relished in those moments of peace he had.

It was getting dark when Phil decided to head back to his apartment. He had an hour long walk from where he was, which included crossing a bridge. That bridge marked the half-way point between his current position and home, which of course made him very happy to reach it.

What he found on the bridge made him less happy.

Phil felt his heart in his throat as he saw a silhouette of a man standing on the wrong side of the railing on the bridge. The silhouette was leaning forward, only the strength of his hands keeping him from falling to his death. The sight made Phil's heart break as he didn't ever want anyone to be in a situation ever. Not thinking, he picked up his pace and ran over to where the man was standing.

“Hey! Don't do this!” Phil yelled as he ran up. The man looked slightly younger than himself, barely out of his teens but still towering over Phil in height. He was skinny and tanned, with brown hair and dressed all in black. But none of that was what Phil noticed about him first, what he saw was the broken look in those brown eyes.

The man turned to look directly at Phil with a deadly indifference. Only for a split second, his face turned into a look of surprise and recognition, before melting into an emotionless state again. Apart from his eyes. Those eyes were bright with emotion – angry, scared, regretful, distressed.

“Now you care...” Dan muttered to himself, although Phil didn't hear it with the wind whistling in his ears.

“What?” Phil asked.

“Why do you care?” Dan said, this time more clearly.

“No one deserves to take their own life. Now, come back on this side, we can talk.” Phil cried desperately. He could never keep a calm head in those situations. Emotions got the best of him. “Please.”

“You don't understand,”

“I may not understand, but I can try. Please, I don't want you to die.”

Phil looked at the other man sadly. The other looked truly like he lost the will to live and it hurt to see.

Dan didn't know what was happening with him. Phil Lester, once his idol, was standing next to him and begging him not to jump. A few years ago, he would've climbed back over in a heart beat. Now, not so much. Not after being ignored for years. It seemed petty since Dan knew that Phil probably had a thousand other things to do rather than listen to him wallow, but it still stung. He, after all, promised to all his fans that he would be there for them.

He wasn't there for him. And it hurt.

“Come on, please don't jump. I'm sure things will get better.” Phil said softly.

Dan scoffed, shooting Phil a betrayed look. The YouTuber was taken aback by it, but nonetheless, stretched his hand out as if asking Dan to take it. Dan eyed it sceptically before turning away. No, he made up his mind. A simple talk and a hug wouldn't change a lifetime of mistakes.

“You won't change my mind.” Dan said stubbornly. “Just leave.”

“No, I'm not leaving until I'm certain you won't jump.” Phil replied, just as stubbornly.

The younger man laughed bitterly. He looked over at Phil with determined, solemn eyes. “Watch me die then.”

Dan's heard was spinning. He couldn't believe that he was actually doing. There was no turning back now, he told himself. He felt memories flooding back – was that how it felt to have his whole life flashing before his eyes? Reliving his worst moment before the escape. It seemed...cruel. Dan adjusted his grip on the railing, loosening his hold on it as Phil stood paralysed behind him. Dan paid no more attention to him, instead he noticed just how awfully high up he was.

In the last possible second before he would've turned back, he let go.

Phil screamed, rushing forward to grab Dan before he fell completely. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as he grabbed the younger man's hand, barely holding on. Phil tried to pull him up, but he was too weak. He looked into Dan's eyes. Both of them had tears swelling in their eyes and their hearts thumping in their chests.

“Hold on!” Phil begged as Dan's hand began to slip from his hold.

“Phil... I'm gonna fall...” Dan choked. “I...I always looked up to you. I think I were in love with you at some point...but you broke your promise. You couldn't be there for me...I....I know that it's foolish to think that you would've ever been. I'm no one...just a plain old Dan who no one cares about.”

Phil cried, trying to pull Dan up to no avail. “No please! I can't let you die!”

The hand slipped, they were only holding on by mere fingertips. In his last seconds before his untimely death, Dan looked up at Phil.

“I don't want to die.”

The waves went crashing against each other, swallowing Dan's body a hundred feet below Phil's crying form. For that couple of minutes, he loved Dan more than anyone else in the world, because he didn't even love himself.


End file.
